Ting Tang Tony by Kat DeSalle and Kristin Leigh Jones

March 13, 2016 Book Review 0 ★★★½

Ting Tang Tony by Kat DeSalle and Kristin Leigh Jonesthree-half-stars
Ting Tang Tony by Kat DeSalle, Kristin Leigh Jones
Series: Has-Been #1
Published by ED Productions on September 18th 2014
Genres: Romantic Comedy
Pages: 206
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Single (kind of), 38, and outside the safety net he’s created, Tony’s not sure where he fits…well, he knows where he fits—but not in the real world. G-Strings, surgically enhanced bodies, what lubricant to use, which angle looks best on camera...these are all things Tony knows. What he doesn't know is how to pursue a true relationship, one outside the adult industry that's shoving him out. Tony DiMarco, aka Ting Tang Tony, made a big name for himself—regardless of being small—in a business where size truly does matter. The last place he expects to get his world turned upside down is Florida. Leaving his retirement party, amidst his very thorough pity party for one, Tony trips over the gorgeous and upstanding Emily Grant. A few awkward moments turn into exactly what Tony’s longed for all along: an opportunity to find the missing puzzle piece he's only been able to fantasize about. Just as things start to heat up between the two, Tony starts questioning everything...especially how someone could possibly want his “little engine that could.” Between battling lifelong insecurities, the stereotypes that stem from his career, and his life in L.A., Tony has his work cut out for him. His part only represents half the battle as Emily brings her own share of issues to the equation. But if there's a small chance it might work, that it might fit—something Tony certainly isn't used to—then he’s willing to do everything he can to win Emily’s heart. Will she be able to handle the double life he tries to hide from her? Or will they both come up short in more ways than one? Maybe, just maybe, it's not always the size of the package that's important, but what's inside that matters most. Can they prove there’s someone out there for everyone?
The Has-Been Series follows four men on their journeys through their careers, loves, friendships, and the eventual pursuit of happiness in this rat race called life. Their paths just happen to intertwine in the adult industry, where they have all made a name for themselves at one point. Despite their different backgrounds, the men bonded—made their own family. Each man, each story, is its own, but related to the next. It’s not a series about porn, it’s about growth and the very flaws that make us interesting and unique. There will be times throughout these books when you won’t think it’s possible for the men to sink any lower, or for you to adore them and their tales any more. One thing always rings true throughout this series: enjoy your life, your family, and your friends—cherish every moment and remember to laugh your ass off the whole way through. Everyone needs to hear a good dick joke once in a while. Come take a ride on this boundary pushing series with depth and humor.

This book may be unsuitable for people under 17 years of age due to its use of sexual content, drug and alcohol use, and/or violence.

I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book.

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By SparklesTing Tang Tony certainly started with a bang… a butt bang and not a very savory one at that. Then again, what was I expecting from a story featuring a recently retired porn star known for his tiny dick? Fortunately the whole book is from Tony’s PoV and he and his friend have the maturity of 12 year olds, making this quite the funny story.

But let me start from the beginning. Tony is a 38 year old former adult industry performer currently being honored with a retirement party held in Florida.

He had been blessed with good looks and a tall and strong frame but his fairy God Mother apparently forgot about his love sword in the gifting ceremony, leaving him with a very small penis. Incredibly enough this was not a deterrence for his career in porn but it did make it tricky for him to enjoy … “front door” sex: He’s only been with women from the industry which seem to feel to him as “throwing a hot dog down a hallway”.

Leaving the party, love crushes into his life, quite literally; when he bumps into the girl of his dreams.

This tiny girl is nothing like the industry women he’s known and he is immediately taken by her, but she leaves right away.

Fortune smiles on him when he finds her again, and Emily just keeps getting better and better in his eyes. She is everything he could ever possibly want in a woman… now he just has to get the courage to ask her out and somehow make her fall in love with him… but does he tell her about his past career and his size issues right away… or at all? Emmy is just too perfect to scare away but he has never been involved with someone “normal” and not from the industry who all know about his… shortcomings.

Emily has some issues and insecurities of her own, and not so easily overcome, but fate has truly matched two halves together and they fit just right, they only need to work some of their difficulties and they could get their very own HEA even when they had almost given up hope of ever getting one.

Tony was really a sweet guy, his insecurities though quite understandable at times did get on my nerves and I just wanted to smack him upside the head so he’d get over himself: he was a great catch and his tiny wiener was not really such an awful thing, especially when he was known for other seriously wicked skills.

Laughs, snorts, a bit of drama and a really sweet and romantic story in spite of our H’s line of work, made Ting Tang Tony quite the enjoyable book and left me with a goofy, satisfied smile on my face.

Sparkles’ Rating: 3.5 true love conquers all Stars


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About Sparkles

Don't let her sparkles fool you, give her an Epic Epilogue or she'll take you down with her ninja moves...

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